Getting Financially Naked With Your Partner

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Countless studies have shown that the number one cause of stress in relationships is money. That’s probably not surprising to you. Money is extremely central to our relationships; it starts at the very beginning with who pays for the first date. 

Everyone grows up with different beliefs and feelings about money and it’s crucial to be congruent with your partner on how to manage money, your money mindsets, and your financial goals.

As generic and vague as this will sound, the key to financial success in your relationship is open communication about money. It’s simple, but that doesn’t necessarily make it easy. Depending on how you were raised, talking about money can be uncomfortable. Or maybe one of you is very open about money while the other is more reserved.

There are a ton of different exercises you can do to alleviate those feelings and have an open and candid conversation about money. The best I have found was developed by Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert who studied marriages for 20 years before ever giving anyone advice. Gottman created 52 Questions Before Marriage or Moving In Card Deck. The cards are divided up into four categories: romance, social life, work, and money. Each card consists of 1-2 questions about said category and the idea of the game is to take turns asking and answering each question. This is great exercise, especially if you’re already gone through the basics with your partner like your current salaries.

I have personally gone through each of these cards with my partner and it was well worth it. We learned about each other, learned about ourselves, and learned how we can work as a team to meet our financial goals.

Now, go get naked ;)